I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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