Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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