It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
