What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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