I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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