she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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