i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
