Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
