Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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