I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
