I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she told me i tasted like america
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
