Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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