none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
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Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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