I have demons in me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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