who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
