Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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