I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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