At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
