He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
