I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
