i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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