and you said cock pushups were impossible
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
