Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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