That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need water and some morals
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
