whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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