wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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