Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
