im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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