I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
