Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
