her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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