thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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