'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Drake has all the answers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
