As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
