Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sobbing to NWA
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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