Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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