Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
