it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
