Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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