i would punch a child for taco bell
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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