That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
