whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Michael Bay diarrhea
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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