i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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