This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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