I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
