Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
