she looked like the before picture.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
