Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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