then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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