i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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