Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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