dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
