just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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