so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
