I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize