It's Friday. Sex?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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