Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
