These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize