Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
