Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
