I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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