I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
