Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
