God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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