I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
third nipple confirmed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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