I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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