But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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