On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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