and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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